Knowledge: The Key to Helping Veterans & Their Families

I was eating breakfast with my wife and railing about the Veterans Administration (VA) system. She asked me, don’t you get tired of beating the drum? After 21 years of marriage I assumed she understood why I do what I do, but she didn’t. I explained the reason I spend so much time trying to help veterans and their family is because I didn’t have the knowledge I needed to deal with the system when I needed it. I failed in my most important missions since I retired from the Air Force. I lost my best friend (Josh) to the opioid crisis because I did not understand the VA system, or where to turn in the community.    

A little background on Josh, he was one of my troops who separated from the Air Force about four years before my retirement. Josh was like one of my kids to us while we were in Alaska. He spent a lot of time at our house and was like an older brother to my kids. While responding to a fire truck accident at Eielson AFB AK he hit a moose. Josh received a concussion and injured his back. Once he got out of the Air Force, I tried to get him to file a claim for his back injuries. Like so many veterans he refused because he was OK, others needed the benefits worse.

I continued to talk to Josh every week he had gotten a good job in Denver, had medical insurance, gotten married, and bought a house. He continued to insist he did not need to file a claim. One day Josh bent over to pick up his mothers’ dog, and his back went out again. Josh went on a 5-year downward spiral that would change a lot of lives. I continued to talk to him and could see the downward spiral. It was a year or so before I started to realize Josh had a drug problem. Josh called me one day and told me he was losing his job, his wife was leaving, and he was losing his house. I found out later Josh was drug seeking by going to multiple doctors to get opioids. My wife and I made the decision to fly Josh to California from Denver in hopes of getting him help from the VA. I had him talked into getting help, so he came to California.

Josh arrived in Ontario on a Thursday and I took him to the VA that Friday morning. Because Josh had never utilized the VA at Loma Linda, he had to work through the eligibility process.  After the interview Josh came out and told me the VA could not get him into the drug program because he had made too much money the prior year and did not file a claim for his back. After the VA incident we offered to let Josh stay in our camper at our house. We offered to feed him, give him something to drive, we were prepared to help him in any way. The only stipulation was he had to work on getting clean. Josh declined to stay and went back to Colorado after a week. About 3 weeks later I got a call from Joshes mom, Josh was found dead in his house, cause of death, drug overdose. This was the phone call that changed my life. At first, I blamed the VA for turning him away. As time went on and I started to remove the emotion I figured out it was not the VA’s fault, it’s the systems fault and the VA system is controlled by congress. Joshes death is why I became a therapist.    

Probably the most important thing I have learned is how the system works. While preparing for Josh's arrival I started doing research on the VA I found out how confusing the VA’s website is. I was so tired of always hearing, it depends on the situation, but it does because every VA is run differently, contact the VA and make them tell you no. At the time, I took Josh to the VA there was a limit on income, that has now changed. It would not have mattered if Josh had filed a claim like I insisted, his addiction to opioids would have fell under his disability for his back. I did not know what was in the community. If I had only understood and known what was in the community, I might have been able to get Josh help. I also did not understand how much drug addicts lie. One of my biggest failures was trusting Josh to tell the truth to get the help that he needed.

Like most incidents there were several factors that played into Joshes death. Josh downplayed his addiction during the VA interview, I should have gone in with him. I did not know how bad substance abusers lie and tell you what they think you want to hear. He did not file a claim. I did not know about the income limit, and I did not know where to turn for help outside of the VA. I now work with the VA Choice program and see the VA’s overflow. I started writing about 5 years ago to help other veterans, their families, and civilians understand the importance of knowing how the system works. I am dangerous now, I have education and knowledge.  

For questions or comments, I can be reached at bo@afterdutyvets.com or visit our website at afterdutyvets.com.