Mental Health Stigma is Costly to Veteran’s Quality of Life

As a psychology professor, it is common to be approached after class by my students, especially veterans. Marty approached me after class about an issue he is having. I knew something was wrong when he got up and left class a couple of times. After class, he apologized for getting up and walking out. Marty started to tell me how he was raised by a domineering and abusive Vietnam Veteran. His mother, who was abused also, told him his father changed after Vietnam and was not the same man she married all those years ago. Marty lost trust in his parents as a child and the discussion in class triggered past events.   

Marty joined the Marines straight out of High School to get out of his father’s house and try to gain his father’s approval. He had 2 combat tours in Iraq, where he started to show Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms.  He lost a friend in an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) attack and shows signs of survivor’s guilt along with the PTSD symptoms.

Marty has been out of the Marines for a couple of years and still feels getting help is a weakness. He tried to confide in his wife and explain why he had changed. She expressed her concern and told him if he did not get help she would leave. He still refused, he was concerned about what everyone would think, especially his father. It wasn’t long before his wife left and is now trying to use his PTSD symptoms to keep him away from his children. Again another blow to his trust.

Those that work with Veterans understand there is a high likelihood that PTSD can be pre-loaded. Therefore it is possible Marty had PTSD before joining the Marines because of his abusive father. He did not seek help while in the military because of the stigma, and therefore did not file a claim when he got out.  

As a mental health clinician and a combat veteran I understand many of his issues, he does not have to tell me, I get it. Being a retired Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO) I have seen the stigma firsthand. The branch of service is irrelevant, it’s the military culture. For the most part, your comrades and commander’s attitudes are negative towards seeking mental health assistance. The higher commands might publically state it is acceptable to get help, but that doesn’t always trickle down to local commands. Many feel the higher commands acceptance of mental health help is lip service for civilians and the politically correct thing to say. It takes trust in the system, and like Marty, many don’t have it. As military members we are taught to depend on each other, but the fear of losing your comrades confidence feels worse than living with the mental anguish. Veterans are stubborn and many won’t get help until they are pressured by their family.  A lot of veterans will not get help for themselves, but they will for their families. Sometimes the family must make the first move by getting counseling before the veteran will succumb to the pressure.

Veterans can get free mental health help from the Veterans Administration (VA) if they meet the criteria. The vet centers were founded by Vietnam veterans and are funded by the VA and are available for combat veterans. The VA and vet centers do see families in a limited capacity, you can call to get more information. Private counselors are not a part of the system and work with families. Depending on your wants and needs you have several options. Many do not trust the system, so the VA and vet centers are out. Some do not want their name in any system, therefore private counselors are the answer.

Many veterans believe if you get help you are weak, the truth is it takes more courage to get help. When I talked to Marty he thought clinicians just picked the scabs on old wounds. In some cases that is true, but nothing says you can’t find a clinician that works for you. If Marty’s father had gotten help it is possible he would have been the loving husband he was and not the abusive father he became. If Marty had gotten help he might have been able to maintain his relationship with his wife and receive disability. That can still be done, but he has to be willing to make the move. Mental health is a quality of life issue. In the military, we are taught to do the right thing, the right thing is getting help to improve your quality of life for you and your family.

For questions or comments, you can contact me at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit my website at www.afterdutyvets.com, and subscribe to my YouTube channel After Duty Vets or like us on Facebook at After Duty Vets.