Comparison is Detrimental to Veterans
I was talking to Sean in the college veteran’s center where I work. We were discussing the reason some people don’t utilize groups offered at the Veteran’s centers or the Veterans Administration (VA). Sean is a decorated Navy veteran who served as a corpsman attached to a Marine unit in Iraq. He served two tours with different units and saw a lot of action. We had talked on several occasions about his experiences and I asked why he did not attend the groups offered. He told me he didn’t like the groups, I asked why. I was shocked to find that Sean felt that the groups did not help because all they did was compare their experiences and did not help each other. Groups are designed to let veterans know they are not alone and let them discuss their ideas about how to change their lives. Many veterans communicate with each other ways to get help in successful groups, groups can be very effective. I am sure not all groups are based on the one ups-man ship Sean was describing. Like most veterans, Sean has given up on counseling groups. For so many veterans like Sean the system gets one chance for things to work and when it doesn’t it gives them a reason not to utilize the resources. When veterans compare what they did during their service, the comparison disenfranchise and shut down those who don’t feel they can compare their trauma to the trauma being discussed. The comparison pushes veterans away because they don’t feel they deserve the help. This is not what we are supposed to do, we are supposed to help each other.
Veterans tend to one up each other as a common practice anyway. Our culture is full of comparisons. We compare officers to enlisted, rank, branches, duty stations, number of tours, time in service, combat wounds, trauma, and combat roles just to name a few. This can cause several problems along the way. Some veterans tend to want to place themselves at the top of the food chain, some feel they deserve more respect than others, and some feel they have earned more benefits. Many of those who served in combat look down on those who served in peacetime. Many veterans compare their trauma which causes multiple psychological issues with veterans. I myself did not file a claim for some issues that have developed since my retirement because I felt there were those who needed the benefits worse. By not filing the claim earlier I actually made it harder to get my disability claim approved.
I have heard several stories of exclusion because of the war or the type of war. One Vietnam veteran told me he went to a veteran’s organization 30 years ago and was told by a WWII veteran that he was not a war veteran because Vietnam was not a war. He left never to return to the Veterans Service Organization (VSO) because he was placed in a situation where he was looked down on. One female veteran discussed how she went into a combat veterans group and the veterans in the group looked at her and asked the clinician, what is she doing in here, she didn’t serve in combat. The reality is she has a purple heart and a 100% disability rating due to combat injuries. I will note that most of these veterans were older Vietnam veterans where women were not supposed to serve in combat roles. Times have changed and women now serve in combat.
Even the VSO’s, make comparisons. You must meet certain requirements to join the differing VSO organizations. It is not the VSO’s fault someone can’t join. The criteria to join VSO is set by congress under a congressional charter. A congressional charter is a law passed by the United States Congress that states the mission, authority, and activities of a group.
I only have recently started to discuss my war. Desert Storm was a war; I was bombed every night. Many do not look at that as a war because of the length. Our country has entered several battles over the years. One estimate is there have been 76 military engagements since 1958. Those include Grenada, Panama, Bosnia, Lebanon, and Somalia. Of course there are those we can’t talk about.
Theodore Roosevelt stated “comparison is the thief of joy”. We tend to compare, trying to make ourselves look better, but it demeans other veterans and causes them to not want to get the services they have earned. In order to help each other we need to change our practices and stop comparing. The best way to change the comparison culture in the military, the VA and the VSO’s is to speak up and make the change from within. Speaking up for those who feel they deserve less because of their military status or service. They too have earned the benefits society offers to veterans.
CRITERIA TO JOIN THE DIFFERENT VSO ORGANIZATIONS, ALL HONORABLY DISCHARGED VETERANS FIT INTO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING CHARTERS.
The Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) If you have received a campaign medal for overseas service; have served 30 consecutive or 60 non-consecutive days in Korea; or have ever received hostile fire or imminent danger pay, then you're eligible to join the VFW ranks.
American Legion: If you have served federal active duty in the United States Armed Forces during any of the war eras, and have been honorably discharged or are still serving you are eligible for membership
American Veterans (AMVETS) To be eligible for membership, you must have served in the U.S. Armed Forces, including the National Guard and Reserves, any time after Sept. 15, 1940.
Disabled American Veterans (DAV) Any Man or Woman, who was wounded, gassed, injured or disabled in the line of duty during a time of war, while in the service of either the military or naval forces of the United States of America, and who has not been dishonorably discharged or separated from such service, or who may still be in active service in the US armed forces can join the DAV.
IAVA require proof of your deployment to a Post 9/11 combat zone. Others can join but have limited access to some of their information.
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