Military Brats, The Undervalued Patriots

I have been working with a 15-year-old military brat named Casandra for almost a year now. It is interesting to see how different she is than most kids her age. She is a Navy brat who has lived all over the world before her dad retired. Casandra struggles fitting in at school because she is seen as an outsider. She has different life experiences than most children her age and struggles with other children who don’t have the discipline she has to follow the rules. This often gets her in trouble with the other kids because they don’t like being challenged for their negative behavior. Military brats have lived their lives moving around the world, going to different schools, moving during the school year, and having to constantly make new friends. I know military brats that went to nine schools in 12 years, that would be hard on any kid even without the other issues of being a military brat.

Because the Department of Defense cannot give a solid number of military brats in the United States. There is an estimated 15 million Americans who are or were military brats. These “Brats”as we call them are a large sub-culture of the United States. In today’s politically correct world civilians scoff at calling them brats, but most military brats are proud to be a “brat”. Growing up a “brat” can be tough. Many lived in a disciplined military household where their parents had lofty expectations for them. Discipline was demanded, especially those of career military because their parents had to answer for their brat’s behavior. Many “Brats” carry that discipline into their civilian lives and onto their children. Military brats have been studied by social psychologist, but little long-term research has been done on the sub-culture.

There are both pro’s and con’s when it comes to growing up a military brat. Let’s start with the positive. To start off with, military brats make friends easy and adjust quickly to challenging situations. Change is their normal, not their exception. Brats are known to have very resilient personalities, exceptional social skills, and are more likely to be proficient in foreign languages. Brats can adapt to their situation because they have had to. Schools on, or near Military bases are more accepting of the new kid for the most part because the other kids have been there. Brats are known to be more accepting to differences in their peers, have little issues with race and ethnicity, and are generally more open with their thoughts. Military brats are also more susceptible to work in a helping and community serving profession’s such as the military, teaching, counseling, police, nursing and foreign service work.

Even though being a brat has pro’s, there are also some con’s.Many brats can have one or both of their parents gone for extended periods of time, they change schools constantly, and must leave friends behind and make now ones. Studies show some former military brats struggle to develop and maintain deep, lasting relationships. Brats can feel like outsiders in U.S. civilian culture. The lifestyle of consistently moving can prevent brats from getting close to friends, brats often limit their relationship out of self-preservation.

The stress of having a parent deployed to a war zone can have long lasting effects on a brat’s psyche. When parents return from war, a different parent comes home. That stress can have everlasting effects on the brats, a drastic change in a parent due to a combat related disability is stressful and change the dynamic of the family dramatically. To brats of deployed personnel, the reality of losing a parent can be a real fear. This fear can be increased if they have a friend who has lost a parent or had a parent who was injured. Some military brats may exhibit symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, and Separation Anxiety Disorder due to their parents military service.

Military brats don’t get the credit they deserve. They have served their country, some of them giving more than some people have ever given to our country. Casandra is struggling to fit in, she has moved so much she fears making close friends because they might leave her, or she will leave them. She also struggles staying in one place, every two years she gets antsy and wants to move. Staying in one place is not her normal. On top of her issues with making friends, Casandra’s father has PTSD and I fear it is rubbing off on her. She is a smart young lady who gets strait “A’s” and has a bright future. I am glad she is seeing me now to deal with the issues of being a brat before she grows up. If you know a “brat” give them credit, they have sacrificed for our country too.

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